Excel Whore

You never know

2011-04-14T21:39:00.015-05:00

So yeah, I got a little distracted over the past year and a half. I guess that whole pesky, accounting thing got in the way of my blogging. Having now survived my first two busy seasons as a staff, I thought I would post a few things that I didn't know at the time, but certainly know now:

I was oblivious as a staff. Don't get me wrong, I was a highly-rated, kick-ass staff (with just a slight ego). But wow, I was completely unaware of all the crap my seniors were doing behind the scenes. Looking back, I was kind of a douche to my seniors. I guess I just naturally assumed that since I didn't always see what they were doing, they must have not been doing anything at all. Having now had the opportunity to senior a few engagements, I realize just how little the staff is aware of all the things that seniors have to do (budget/ETCs, status updates, administrative junk, clean up terribly-prepared workpapers, status updates, more budgeting, and did I mention status updates?). So to any of my seniors that might someday read this... sorry I was such a complete tool.

Interns are a good thing. There are a lot of people who don't like interns. They see them as being over-paid, over-indulged, and in general, useless. And if I ever have to work with a bad one, maybe I'll join that club. But based on my experience to-date, interns are certainly no more useless than a new staff 1, they charge less per hour (my budget suddenly looks a hell of a lot better), and since they're still trying to get hired full-time, they'll do all the crappy work (copying, binder-making, etc.) with a big ol' smile on their face. So for now, the more interns the better.

There are some people in this firm who should just be fired. In a company that employs 140,000+ people around the globe, there will naturally be some idiots who slip in through the hiring process. But damn, why are they all on MY engagements? Okay, so to be fair, I really like about 90% of the people I've worked with so far. But the other 10%? What the fuck happened? Did these people go through the same ridiculously intense recruiting/hiring process that I did? After multiple interviews, office visits, dinners, etc., how did these people get hired? (Having now attended recruiting events at multiple universities from the employer side, I can say that it's fairly easy to pick out the wackos when you meet them.) And more importantly, why have they not been fired yet? These people cannot have gotten good reviews. There's no way. I worked on the PP&E account of a Fortune 500 company and the senior over the account didn't know what a fixed asset was. I swear, I can't make this shit up. Seriously, some people just need to be let go.

So that's probably enough incoherent ranting for one night. Maybe it won't be a year and a half between now and my next post. But then again... you never know.

It's only going to get worse...

2010-01-06T00:05:00.000-06:00

Sitting at lunch today with a group of my co-workers, I had an epiphany... (okay, maybe not, but at the very least, a slight moment of sandwich-induced dizziness). Our lunch group included members from each level at the office (from staff to senior mgr) and as the lunch went on, I began to see myself at each level. What I found is that if my career progresses as that of my colleagues', my outlook on the job will pretty much follow the course of a giant U.

Staff - the top left of the U: some minor complaints about the job, but for the most part, you're relatively content to be employed. you display a fairly positive outlook for the future, but only because you really don't know enough to be miserable yet.

Senior - quickly sliding down the left side, and fast: the glory days of being a staff are long gone, and as it turns out, being a senior sucks. not only do you have to deal with sniveling little staff punks (such as myself), you have to run an entire freakin audit. and oh yeah, while you're doing that, find the time to clear a few hundred review notes. the positive outlook for the future you had as a staff was a pipe-dream and quickly fades to disgruntlement and nausea. I can't believe that this is what I have to look forward to. fuck.

Manager - the bottom of the U, but at least no more sliding downhill: stuck in the middle, the manager seems to be part boss, part bitch. you're finally out of the minutea and you do get the joy of playing boss to a fair number of minions. pretty cool job, if it weren't for those pesky jackasses above you. and you still end up detail reviewing a bunch of crap since there's more work than could possibly ever be completed by the seniors unless cloning got involved.

Sr. Manager - finally, headed up the right side of the U: the promised land is in sight. just a few short years of wondering in the desert until you finally reach your life's goal and get the opportunity to shell out a small fortune to buy into the partnership.

While I look forward to the challenges that I will face throughout my career, I can only seem to focus on one thing at the moment... it's only going to get worse.

The first... and hopefully not the last

2010-01-02T01:37:00.000-06:00

So in the spirit of a new decade, I've finally decided to join the masses and blog. Will it be read by anyone but me? Doubtful. Will anyone but me care? Highly Doubtful. Why am I doing it? Because I fucking can.

A little bit of background...
I recently made my glorious entrance into being an adult by accepting a job as an auditor with a "Big 4" accounting firm. Being a follower of many accounting blogs out there, I naturally decided to steal their idea and start my own. My goal is to throw my two-cents into the pool and hopefully amuse myself along the way. If any current or potential accounting folks happen to also be amused by incoherent, often biased, and certainly ridiculous ranting, perhaps they will be amused as well.

As I progress on my little journey down the yellow ~~beam~~ brick road of public accounting, I'll try to post things that amuse, annoy, puzzle, infuriate, enlighten, please, or entertain me.

So here's thought #1... this job sucks.
Having been an intern prior to accepting a full-time position, I was aware of what the job entailed before I signed on. Like most interns (or maybe not?), I was able to see past most of the bullshit perks of being an intern (i.e. overtime pay, leaving at 5:00, cool trips to Florida, etc.) and judge the job for what it is. As such, the shocking realization that this job sucks isn't a result of the job itself, but rather, the erosion of the self-imposed delusion that I could actually handle the day-to-day grind of the job.

The 'day-to-day grind" isn't with regard to the hours, but the actual work that a Staff 1 performs every... single... mind-numbing day. While I'm quite certain it's the only thing that I'm remotely qualified to do at this point in my career, ticking and tieing isn't really the most intellectually challenging of tasks. I mean, seriously, you're paying me 50k to sit around and draw little pictures with a red pencil? are you sure? okay, if that's what you really want. While it's certainly nice to be employed, the everyday nature of the job is already starting to get on my nerves, and it's only been a few months. As I reflect on all the time and effort that I put into getting myself this job (master's degree, passing the cpa exam, kissing an enormous amount of senior manager/partner ass), I'm beginning to wonder if it was all worth it. At this point in time, probably not. My only sustaining hope is that it will all pay off in the future. I think that if I stick around long enough to make senior and begin to manage engagements and staff, the job will present me with numerous, significant challenges that might be interesting to face on an everyday basis. But as for now... this job sucks.